Chicago Cubs Author Interview - The Cubs Fan's Guide to Happiness
George Ellis helps uncover exactly what it is that keeps those relentless Cubs fans coming back to the corner of Addison and Sheffield
heartbreaking season-after-heartbreaking season. View our interview with George Ellis, the author of The Cubs Fan's Guide to Happiness, below.
What was your inspiration behind The Cubs Fan's Guide to Happiness?
George Ellis - 29 years of heartbreak. That, and my wife is always giving me a hard time about still liking the Cubs after all these disappointments. It got me thinking: Why do I stick with this team? What's wrong with me? Or, more importantly, can I somehow prove I'm not a moron?
When putting together the list of 100 frustrations experienced by Cubs fans, did any of them make you cry? We had a hard time with a few of them.
George Ellis - It was a difficult list, although I tried to include some funny ones, like Jeff Gordon singing the stretch and referring to Wrigley Field as Wrigley Stadium. That's disappointing on so many levels. But did I cry? Can't say I did.
What do you think would happen to Cubs Nation if we actually did win the World Series? Would you have to re-focus the Heckler on another sports team?
George Ellis - I think the Cubs winning the World Series would be one of the greatest moments in American sports history. I don't say that just as a Cubs fan…it would be the ultimate underdog story. Cubs Nation would grow even stronger. Can you imagine this team with a World Series bandwagon? Insane. As for The Heckler, winning the World Series won't change the fact that Aramis Ramirez runs the bases like he's sleeping, or Scott Eyre would make the perfect Brown's Chicken spokesperson, so no, I don't think we'd have to change our focus. Although 100% coverage of the Blackhawks (Chicago's professional hockey team) could be fun too.
As you probably noticed, the Cubs replaced the Precious Moments figures with bobble heads this year. Do you think they read your book and took your advice or are bobble heads in the same category as Precious Moments figures?
George Ellis - I didn't know that! Nice. I'm not sure if that change was because of the book, but if it was, the book has been a total success. Bobble Heads are cool, by the way. I just wish they would expand to Bobble Hands for someone like, say, Chris Duncan.
What is your opinion on throwing back a replacement ball when an opposing team hits a home run into the bleachers? I don't know about anyone else, but I could never throw back a Terrmel Sledge ball.
George Ellis - Ha. I think for the throwback to be meaningful, it should be the real ball. Unless it's me we're talking about. I'm not giving up a homer. No way. This is probably a good place to remind Brad Zibung (editor in chief of The Heckler) that I could totally make it from the bleachers to the infield dirt on a fly. Most people can! I mean, not Jacque Jones, but most normal-armed people.
I totally agree with your theory on booing. No true fan boos the Cubs, but we sure get annoyed. What is the best alternative for a true fan?
George Ellis - The best alternative is to come up with something clever. If you can make people laugh at what you said without dropping an f-bomb, then by all means heckle the players. Just don't boo 'em. It's not just disrespectful—it's lazy.
We get your jabs at the Tribune Company. Is it a good thing that the Cubs will be sold next year?
George Ellis - Yes. The next owner can't possibly win the World Series any less.
You talk about the Cubs opening the season 0-14 in 1997. We take offense to the jab against Kevin Tapani. Being from his hometown in Escanaba, Michigan, we are STILL huge fans. He is after all, one of the best and most consistent pitchers in the 90's.
George Ellis - Look, I've always been a fan of Escanaba. Go Eskymos! Tapani's Escanabian roots are probably what got him through 1997.
Coworkers of mine call themselves "Chicago fans". They cheer for both the Sox and Cubs. Because of this, I hate them. What should I do as a responsible Cubs fan?
George Ellis - You're doing it.
What is your prediction for the Cubs for the remainder of 2007?
George Ellis - First place in the division. No joke.
Do you expect either Prior or Wood to return to the Cubs in 2008?
George Ellis - You mean like as fans or groundskeepers or something? The only way either comes back is for league minimum, and that isn't gonna happen with these jokers. It's too bad, because I still like Wood.
CBB thanks George Ellis and and appreciates the time he took to give us an interview. To purchase the book, visit the CBB books section.
What was your inspiration behind The Cubs Fan's Guide to Happiness?
George Ellis - 29 years of heartbreak. That, and my wife is always giving me a hard time about still liking the Cubs after all these disappointments. It got me thinking: Why do I stick with this team? What's wrong with me? Or, more importantly, can I somehow prove I'm not a moron?
When putting together the list of 100 frustrations experienced by Cubs fans, did any of them make you cry? We had a hard time with a few of them.
George Ellis - It was a difficult list, although I tried to include some funny ones, like Jeff Gordon singing the stretch and referring to Wrigley Field as Wrigley Stadium. That's disappointing on so many levels. But did I cry? Can't say I did.
What do you think would happen to Cubs Nation if we actually did win the World Series? Would you have to re-focus the Heckler on another sports team?
George Ellis - I think the Cubs winning the World Series would be one of the greatest moments in American sports history. I don't say that just as a Cubs fan…it would be the ultimate underdog story. Cubs Nation would grow even stronger. Can you imagine this team with a World Series bandwagon? Insane. As for The Heckler, winning the World Series won't change the fact that Aramis Ramirez runs the bases like he's sleeping, or Scott Eyre would make the perfect Brown's Chicken spokesperson, so no, I don't think we'd have to change our focus. Although 100% coverage of the Blackhawks (Chicago's professional hockey team) could be fun too.
As you probably noticed, the Cubs replaced the Precious Moments figures with bobble heads this year. Do you think they read your book and took your advice or are bobble heads in the same category as Precious Moments figures?
George Ellis - I didn't know that! Nice. I'm not sure if that change was because of the book, but if it was, the book has been a total success. Bobble Heads are cool, by the way. I just wish they would expand to Bobble Hands for someone like, say, Chris Duncan.
What is your opinion on throwing back a replacement ball when an opposing team hits a home run into the bleachers? I don't know about anyone else, but I could never throw back a Terrmel Sledge ball.
George Ellis - Ha. I think for the throwback to be meaningful, it should be the real ball. Unless it's me we're talking about. I'm not giving up a homer. No way. This is probably a good place to remind Brad Zibung (editor in chief of The Heckler) that I could totally make it from the bleachers to the infield dirt on a fly. Most people can! I mean, not Jacque Jones, but most normal-armed people.
I totally agree with your theory on booing. No true fan boos the Cubs, but we sure get annoyed. What is the best alternative for a true fan?
George Ellis - The best alternative is to come up with something clever. If you can make people laugh at what you said without dropping an f-bomb, then by all means heckle the players. Just don't boo 'em. It's not just disrespectful—it's lazy.
We get your jabs at the Tribune Company. Is it a good thing that the Cubs will be sold next year?
George Ellis - Yes. The next owner can't possibly win the World Series any less.
You talk about the Cubs opening the season 0-14 in 1997. We take offense to the jab against Kevin Tapani. Being from his hometown in Escanaba, Michigan, we are STILL huge fans. He is after all, one of the best and most consistent pitchers in the 90's.
George Ellis - Look, I've always been a fan of Escanaba. Go Eskymos! Tapani's Escanabian roots are probably what got him through 1997.
Coworkers of mine call themselves "Chicago fans". They cheer for both the Sox and Cubs. Because of this, I hate them. What should I do as a responsible Cubs fan?
George Ellis - You're doing it.
What is your prediction for the Cubs for the remainder of 2007?
George Ellis - First place in the division. No joke.
Do you expect either Prior or Wood to return to the Cubs in 2008?
George Ellis - You mean like as fans or groundskeepers or something? The only way either comes back is for league minimum, and that isn't gonna happen with these jokers. It's too bad, because I still like Wood.
CBB thanks George Ellis and and appreciates the time he took to give us an interview. To purchase the book, visit the CBB books section.
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